Totally agree!
I also think that it is not Chinese parents over depend on their kids or penetrate in their kids family, they just trapped in the net that their kids made by "love"
Because of the love, parents should give out their life saving to their kids and can't enjoy life like western elderly, and have to depend on their kids.
Because of the love, they have to devote all their energy and happy for their kid, no matter what they feel and think.
Some very gorgeous Chinese words-天伦之乐，舔犊之情，儿孙满堂, cover a fact that chinese elderly be treat as free labour and lose themself. It doesn't mean every family in this situation, but I can say many of them are. I am not criticise chinese culture but do feel they are misuse by someone.
I just wish Chinese parents could realise that they had finished their duty at the moment when their kids graduated from the university. It is time for them to think about themself and say "no" to their kids if they don't want.
感谢‘爱心幼儿园’让我知道咱们华人还是有孝心好子女存在。时间环境的原因，照就了许多自私短视的子女，以致可以用冷血回报爱恩，泯灭良知却还有借口‘当子女不容易，得为找工，为小孩拼命’等等。如你认为对妈妈这样是可以接收的话， 那么你的小孩正可从你现在的‘善待’你妈学习到以后可以这样对你。如你不想你以后的处境象你妈现在这样的话，请为自己造德积福吧！当然，你有权选择你的作为和未来。wait and see.
How many truth you need?
Wrong doing is wrong doing. Any excuse can't make it be reasonable to put your mom in the freezing garage. Only reason is heartless and unbeliveable.
I asked my 10 years old son that day when we watching the news. " if I be old and demential one day. If your kids complain that I make the house smell terrible, what would you do?" "I will tell them that they also smell very bad when they are babies" My son looked at me and give me the answer very seriously.
I was touching by his answer. To be honesty, it is beyond my expectation, what I could expect is he would stop his potential kids and ask them to respect their grandparents even they are old and sick.
But, I believe that is the best answer. You also smell bad when you are baby if your parents didn't take care of you. You also need someone to spend lots of time and energy to take care when you are a baby. Not mention all the care they gave to your in your life.
I feel sad the so many mature Chinese adult don't have basic understanding and responsibility as my 10 year old son. Some many people looking for the excuses for something could not be excuse.
What you give out will turn back one day to yourself. I just wish people who feel it is reasonable to put an elderly demential lady in garage will not regret when they are old. No matter what, that day will come.
回复 小鱼豆豆：Did you understand Chinese and what I am saying? If you don't , go to learn Chinese first, and come to ask me What I meant, then make you justment. Thank you for your kind blessing very much, and I bless the same to you.
感受悲凉：“虐母案”不能不说的痛