the idea is not bad.
最初由 jan_ai Zhang 发布：
(1)"我本想顺从老公而回国"
If You really love your husband, and he does not refuse your (accept) love (or he also love you -- it is best), and you can accept to live in China, go back to China and dash into your husband's breast immediately !!!
Last summer I went back to China: Many things changes in China, especially the life of the middle-class (like your husband). For example, they spend their weekend in the suburban area. (It is the really poor and miserable groups that are peasants and lower-class urban people in China). I think living in China now is acceptable if I have to.
(2) "但他希望我在这里陪孩子上学."
Your "他" might have two hints: one hint is that he really want to his child to get education in Toront. I do not know how old your child is. Usually only 4 years is required to avoid language examination like TOEFL to get into a good university. If your child is in Highschool now, you can overcome the difficulty to accompany your child in Toronto. Then you can go back to China a few year late. I knew a family like yours. Now the child already works in Toronto and the wife went back to Bei Jing. Everyone has happy life.
The second hint is that it might only be an excuse to get rid of you, you should think about it carefully and make your own rational and wise decision.
I want to point out one point: if we said your child is the tomorrow's sun, you would have to be the today's sun. Otherwise, if you were only a today's moon, you would never train your child to become a "tomorrow" sun .
(3)"孩子也不想走." "回去,孩子说我自私"
"孩子" is only your "孩子", next generation which is not eligible to decide the way of the parents. He / she only can criticize it. However, when he become an adult, he will understand your decision . Otherwise, he is impossible. "孩子" will have a lot of choices to have good future. For example, you still keep the citizen status for him and then he will have one more chioce in the future. Maybe I am stubborn: I think, if a child is bright, he will always have good future no matter he studys in China or Canada.
Lie on the bed 3 days and make a rational, reasonable, and wise decision for yourself! Everyone has a way to access to his satisfactory life!
Best wishes to your family!
最初由 雨中漫步尽逍遥 发布：
谢谢jian-ai Zhang 的建议.
我本想顺从老公而回国, 但他希望我在这里陪孩子上学.孩子也不想走. 他又不来.我在中间,不只怎么办好. 回去,孩子说我自私, 孩子不懂我的苦.不回, 又觉得前路茫茫.
谢谢大家给建议!
(1)"我本想顺从老公而回国"
If You really love your husband, and he does not refuse your (accept) love (or he also love you -- it is best), and you can accept to live in China, go back to China and dash into your husband's breast immediately !!!
Last summer I went back to China: Many things changes in China, especially the life of the middle-class (like your husband). For example, they spend their weekend in the suburban area. (It is the really poor and miserable groups that are peasants and lower-class urban people in China). I think living in China now is acceptable if I have to.
(2) "但他希望我在这里陪孩子上学."
Your "他" might have two hints: one hint is that he really want to his child to get education in Toront. I do not know how old your child is. Usually only 4 years is required to avoid language examination like TOEFL to get into a good university. If your child is in Highschool now, you can overcome the difficulty to accompany your child in Toronto. Then you can go back to China a few year late. I knew a family like yours. Now the child already works in Toronto and the wife went back to Bei Jing. Everyone has happy life.
The second hint is that it might only be an excuse to get rid of you, you should think about it carefully and make your own rational and wise decision.
I want to point out one point: if we said your child is the tomorrow's sun, you would have to be the today's sun. Otherwise, if you were only a today's moon, you would never train your child to become a "tomorrow" sun .
(3)"孩子也不想走." "回去,孩子说我自私"
"孩子" is only your "孩子", next generation which is not eligible to decide the way of the parents. He / she only can criticize it. However, when he become an adult, he will understand your decision . Otherwise, he is impossible. "孩子" will have a lot of choices to have good future. For example, you still keep the citizen status for him and then he will have one more chioce in the future. Maybe I am stubborn: I think, if a child is bright, he will always have good future no matter he studys in China or Canada.
Lie on the bed 3 days and make a rational, reasonable, and wise decision for yourself! Everyone has a way to access to his satisfactory life!
Best wishes to your family!
最初由 sunnyyang2000 发布：
躺三天？ 😝
Yes, "躺三天" to think about something.
It is my way. After I get my final answer, I will do it immediately and never regret. Otherwise, it will touture you for ever. But I love my life and the people, nature in the world. I hate to waste my time and also should repect others. That is why I chose this way to make decision.
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sunnyyang2000
2006-04-23 11:32
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最初由 jan_ai Zhang 发布：
My suggestion:
(1) lie on the bed over 3 days: ask yourself: I really want to live in Canada or China from different angles?
(2) If the answer is Canada, you'd better 很果断: "Li" !
If the answer is China, you'd also better 很果断: go back to China and reunion with your husband.
Otherwise, it will be just like you said: "象有些夫妻耗了几年,十几年, 唯剩下空壳, 未必不是伤害且耗尽了人生的热情"!
It is a pity for both sides: Wife and Husband.
躺三天？ 😝
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身外化身
2006-04-23 11:25
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楼上说的没错
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jan_ai Zhang
2006-04-23 11:07
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最初由 雨中漫步尽逍遥 发布：
看了这文章, 很感触. 我的情况有点相似. 但有小孩. 我该退还是进? 请网友们给建议.谢谢.
我喜欢加拿大生活且有份会计工作. 工资不高但够基本生活. 分居4年,老公在国内公司做部门经理. 他不愿经历死而后生的苦和风险.
我们的感情在被分居的苦慢慢吞噬,尽管我把我所有的假期都用在了回国团聚上.
我觉得此文的男主人公很果断, 趁没孩子.象有些夫妻耗了几年,十几年, 唯剩下空壳, 未必不是伤害且耗尽了人生的热情.
My suggestion:
(1) lie on the bed over 3 days: ask yourself: I really want to live in Canada or China from different angles?
(2) If the answer is Canada, you'd better 很果断: "Li" !
If the answer is China, you'd also better 很果断: go back to China and reunion with your husband.
Otherwise, it will be just like you said: "象有些夫妻耗了几年,十几年, 唯剩下空壳, 未必不是伤害且耗尽了人生的热情"!
It is a pity for both sides: Wife and Husband.
我移民加拿大后拿了身份 丢了婚姻