最初由 feng94 发布：
记得大概十年前吧，
Bette Widler以一首“Wind beneath my wings”
夺得格莱美奖
歌里有几句这样的词
令人深思
也令人感动
可以献给现在还在婚姻外面逡巡觅食的男女们
不管是离婚了的还是没离婚的
（这一条不应该作为划分人等的一条标准吧）
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
夫妻之间不是应当也如此吗？
希望婚姻中的人们也会这样互相说
... fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
... thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.
夫妻之间当如此。但是，生活中的现实情况是，无论男方还是女方，对家庭经济贡献大的一方，如果内心感觉压力大，精神状态常紧张，那么就会时常迁怒于另一方。另一方的贡献常常被忽略，因为经济上的贡献少活着没有。
我见过一个家庭，男的收入就有5万以上。而女的只做parttime，没有固定工作和稳定收入。男的总是很紧张，总是看女的不顺眼。而女的把家里收拾的干干净净，饭菜也很可口，孩子也照顾的很好，并且临时工作的收入也能贴补家用。
这是心理问题了。我认为需要辅导。
我家也有这样的问题，虽然不是很严重了。不过，刚才她还对我的工作和收入问题进行了“口头的 安排”，并且对我的胸无大志嗤之以鼻了一声。事情虽小，却能让人心里堵好几天。
Thanks for the questions raised by SUNSHINEMAN.
Everyone has his/her own pereference. I prefer to find my partner without having kids though he maybe divoiced.
My thoughts are: no matter what happens between the adults, it will be resolved as time goes by. But as a bilogical parent, you will never shut your responsibility. To avoid problems in the future relationship, I will never date with a man who has kids since this will be very complicated in my relationship with him. This is my personal criteria when I choose my partner. You may agree or not, it does not matter. As I pointed out, it is just my individual preference and opinion.
I said a foreign man does not have a complicated family relationship. It is merely based on my case. I am 100% sure my partner has no such intercrossed family relationships and I will be his first and only wife. Again, I prefer a simple and easy relationship including family members. Currentlly, I do not have any issue stemmed from my partner's family, probably never. His parents always think I am the closest one his son should be with. We get along very well. I respect them as if they are my parents. Absolutely no complex relationship between his monther and I, which most chinese couples may have (including myself). I love his mom very much!
Most important, as a woman, I think we should respect ourselves. We work hard and strive to our goals. Only you respect yourself, your partner will respect you.
Do not always take some words negatively. Do not try to think men and women who divoiced are bad persons. They may be not lucky in their marriages but this not necessary means they are not nice persons. My exhusband and I are still good friends. I still do not consider my exhusband a bad person. He may just not know how to act as a husband or we are simply not compatible. By the way, this was the first marriage for both of us. So we did not have an issue regarding kids from the previous marriage. I did not want to have kids with him just because I am a responsible person. I want to make sure I have a stable relationship when I have kids. If I am not confident, it is better not to let my kids suffer.
Some posts state that a woman who divoiced just wants to discard a shabby ship and jump to a luxurious boat. Sometimes this may be true. But it may not apply to my case. I am a woman who has a decent job and I do not have to rely on any man. Also, when I married my exhusband, I earned more than he did and already held PRs from other two countries. If I just want to have a financial secure or a Canadian citizenship, I did not feel I could get anything from him.
This is probably my last post as I do not like some people here always think things negetively! Please think positively and treat every one the way you like to be treated!
With a sincere hope that every man and woman could have a compatible and understanding partner, a harmonious family, cute kids and a life-time worth career! Life is too short to enjoy!
给离过婚的男人做女朋友，不容易！