I have a friend have spent lots money on his son but always said to his son you owe me and you should return me when you grow up, now his son in college now only 2 hour drive from home but only come back home 3 times in the first year total less then 10 days.
I have son too, in high school but I said to him I,myself willing pay your college tuition but I want do it for you you don't owe me anything and you can go any where and do anything you like after graduate. We can take care of ourselves and you don't have to worry.
So I know what is a true love to my son and have no burden on his shoulder in the future.
You NEVER understand what is LOVE, as parents, they possibly have unconditional love, BUT as us, as CHILDREN, we SHOULD remember what we got from them and respect them, also don't mention only for CHINESE parents.
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AMET
2012-09-26 16:08
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tzhou67 , I don't want to hear you barking again, you are right I'm not a dog but you are.
Remember, Parent's love should be unconditional love not an investment. those who inverted money on children and ask for return is not a true love.
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玳瑁猫
2012-09-26 16:03
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Parents in laws take everything that son/daughter in laws did for them for granted. Problems can only be solved when they learn to appreciate.
这样的事情没有绝对的一方是错的，只能说有一方承担更大的责任！年轻人相对老人在家里是是强者，老人是弱者，最起码强者不应该欺负弱者！可是价值观的不同，习惯的不同，特别是媳妇儿，女婿和parents in law的关系，决定了大多数两代人住一起的局限性！可能真的只有两代人都不是有很强控制欲的人才能住一起吧！
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加拿大老张
2012-09-26 15:51
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可能的话, 还是两代人分开生活吧, 别用孝顺硬栓在一起住, 大家都痛苦, 即使多花点钱也值得.
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玳瑁猫
2012-09-26 16:01
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That is just general perception. My understanding is parents in laws are always stronger because they think they are Zhangbei . Son/daughter in laws always try to please them first. But when they find it is not possible to please them, problems come.
婆婆们的移民生活：老人的苦水向谁诉？